Spread of the Timberland Pandemic

How are we all on this fine and slightly depressing boxing day? I hope you all had fabulous Christmases, and you got everything that your little materialistic hearts desired!


Has anyone else noticed an increase in Timberland's lately? It seems like everywhere I look (I look at a lot of shoes) they're there...mocking me...haunting me...
They're spreading faster than you can say "Let me share this blog with my people"and I don't like it. (Try it,spread this blog with your people xo)

I just don't get the appeal, they're bulky, 'wheat' coloured- don't be fooled, the colour looks like baby food, boat shoes that, suddenly are acceptable for people that aren't lumberjacks to wear.( But are useful for taking long lonely walks in the country side with sheep and mud and fresh air *shudders*.)


Take the test to see if you should wear Timberlands:

1)  Do you harvest trees?
 YES-1 point
 NO-0 points
2)Do you wear checked shirts?
YES-1 point
NO-0 points
3) Do you have a straggly beard?
YES-1 point
NO-0 points
4)How straggly?
 VERY-2 points
PRETTY DARN STRAGGLY-1 point
I'M AS CLEAN SHAVEN AS A BABY-0 points
4)Is your name Moonshine Jimmy, Prune-juice Doyle or Squeaky Joe?
YES-1 point
NO-0 points

How did you score?
6 points- yes you can wear Timberlands.
0 points-no Timberlands for you,Gretchen Weiners,sorry.





But hey, that's just my opinion- where do you stand in the whole "I want to wear Timberlands but I'm not a Lumberjack" fiasco? Love to hear any feedback!
If you like Timberlands then you wear 'em hunnnnnayyy *majestically clicks fingers in z formation, flicks hair to the side and pouts* mmmmmmmmmmhmmmmmmmmmmm.




Here's a picture of a Lumberjack mollusc in Timberlands doing his thang. (edited by my brother- fabulousness runs in the family.)

Stay swagulous xo

All things tartan

Tartan is possibly the best thing to come out of Scotland (excluding me, tunnocks tea cakes, irn bru and ME obviously) and it makes me so happy that it is finally fashionable!

Even though it is absolutely everywhere at the moment its so chic and versatile. BUT and this is a big but (lol) don't be fooled into thinking that tartan is a red kilt with dark stripes and checks and crap that hairy ginger dudes wear with nothing underneath, no no my friend, tartan is so much more. Wait until you enter the magical world of tartan (not anyhow related to or with Scotland) and experience its mysterious ways...............*at this point I imagined bagpipes playing Aladdin's A Whole New World, don't know why.*





And  I will show you some of my fav tartan pieces to prove that I am a fan-girl of it. Please forgive the crappy camera quality. Feel free to send me money to buy a new camera xxxx
Asda tartan kilt -£7


Primark Tartan Scarf- £3

 Topshop Tartan trousers- £40

Primark Tartan skirt- £7


Actually, now that I look at it, I think I have an addiction...





And here's my totally unrelated picture of the day:

Winter is a time for all things squishy*;slipper socks,woolly jumpers,duvets and probably the squishiest of all; tracksuits.



*In my dictionary, I have multiple interpretations of squishy:

1) Squishy- [adjective-from the Latin skwish-ee] meaning cute.
That puppy is so squishy!

2)Squishy- [adjective-from the French scwishè] meaning comfortable or er,actually squishy.
What a squishy sofa you have!

3)Squishy-[noun- from the Spanish El Squishador] meaning a term of endearment.
Okay Squishy, I'll be at your house in 4 minutes.

Anyway...

As a full time fashionista, I want to despise tracksuits so much but I just can't. I physically cannot.

How can something so warm and cosy be so ratchet?

Don't lie to yourself, we all have multiple tracksuits in our wardrobe, some may be hidden away, others may be on you right now, but don't worry, I'm not judging you. (I'm always judging you.) Now, the problem with tracksuits are that they come with one question more controversial than the disappearance of Miley's eyebrows ( or lack of shall we say...)   and that question is; 'can I get away with wearing this in public?'
Sure, you may think, you are only popping to your local corner shop for a pint of milk for your earl grey, you probably won't see anyone...

WRONG.The corner shop will get robbed and so news reporters will be everywhere and it will be live on BBC and Johnny Depp will roll in looking for a wife and everyone you hate will be there sending snapchats of your poor,sad,lonely self in a tracksuit and you'll be known as tracksuit girl for the rest of your life.

Okay?

But on the off chance you do see me in a tracksuit, spare me the judging, being full time fabulous is tiring work.

Everyone needs squishy days.

If you see me in a tracksuit...                            

(If you didn't laugh at that,er,why not???)

How to layer clothes without looking homeless.

Before I get started can I just say a HUGE thank-you to everyone that bothers to read my blog no matter how obnoxious and annoying I get! When I first started writing on here I honestly did not think I would get more than 100 views let alone 9000+.(even though most of you are friends that I bully into reading my blog, or just me reading this from other computers.*) So thank-you squishys of the internet, I promise to buy you diamonds one day when I'm rich xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx             *Joking I dont do that 8-)
Here is a totally irrelevant picture of an octopus in a top hat for your troubles.



ANYWAY, here is today's post on; How to layer clothes without looking like a  homeless man.
There's nothing wrong with looking homeless, whatever gets you going, but if the hobo look is unintentional then you should probably read on.


Layering clothes is a grooovy way of not only keeping warm in these harsh winter months (January to December in the UK) but also looking fabulous. (Caution; a downside of layering is that you can look fat...but is good for stashing snacks, so either way, you will end up fat-sorry.)

So here are a few top tips to rock the style correctly:

1)Always have a base layer. 
Like a base colour for painting or make-up, you always need a base to start you off.
Something tight and fitted is key, so you don't look obese before you've even started.

2)Don't look like you're modelling a new range of tents for Millets. (I promise that wasn't some sad attempt at a joke, its to for visualising purpose only.)
If your top half is going to be baggy and warm and full of places to stash chocolatey goodness, you cannot, I repeat CANNOT have your bottom half in baggy clothes too. You'll look like you are drowning in layers and/or you threw on every item of clothing you owned in the hope to shield yourself from the Arctic winds that will bite off your face as you sleep on the streets.
Leggings or skinny jeans are jazzy are perfect for this look.

3)Help others determine your sex.
To reassure the general public that you are not a 9 year old boy under all of those clothes, belts or scarves around your waists are vital. You need to show off some shape, even if you don't have some, a belt just under the bust will do wonders. I promise.

4)A wise pussycat doll once said 'Loosen up my buttons babe'...
I'm going to hazard a guess and say it was Nicole, mainly because she sang everything and I don't know the other names. But yes,listen to the wise words of Nicole, in order for this look to work,you  have to have the different layers showing, by unbuttoning one layer of buttons, sleeves rolled up, one layer of shirt hanging out...

5)Come in like a wrecking ball. 
Experiment, go all out. RIDE YOUR WRECKING BALL. Have fun and do a few preliminary tests on what works and what doesn't. Mix colours and textures and patterns and don't be shy with it. Accessories are a must as always,but be careful, you don't want to look too busy, a simple scarf or chain will do the job.





Happy layering!

My favourite quote at the moment 


Comment/Share/Like and I will love you for ever xxxxxxxxxxxx

Why Autumn/Winter 2013 Rocks

Thick tights
Possibly the best invention ever, warm,practical,comfy and great for working a layered textured look.
But, once that one piece of thread gets caught on a passing branch/fence/table/dog there is no going back, that little thread manages to unravel itself until all you have left is a ball of strings wrapped around your ankle. (great if you knit or have a kittten, not so great if you er, don't).

Snoods
Again, tres comfortable, so cosy and warm and snuggly for the coming 5 months of apocalyptic rain,snow and all round coldness. (or as BBC's weather lady likes to call it; the British summertime.)
Also used for catching unwanted food and drink that misses your mouth,though. My snood's personal favourite foods and drinks include Hot chocolate and ketchup from the hot dogs at Winter Wonderland. (where I store my snack for the tube ride home.)

Berry Coloured Lip-sticks 
Very festive and autumnal, hot vampiress look great for Halloween.
If your nose,when cold, decides to mysteriously change colour,like mine,it is probably not the best idea to wear berry,purple or red lipstick, as it will match the colour of your nose,and make you look like a noob at life.


Oversized Jumpers
When you need a cuddle on a cold November night, put on an oversized jumper and it will do just that. (I'm so lonely.) Oversized jumpers are FAB at not only making you feel and look gorgeous and warm,but also, they trick people into thinking that you are not as lonely as you are, and that you have a boyfriend who lent his jumper to you.
Can drown you, and if they are too long they can look a bit weird. Also, if the people you are trying to fool know you well, they will ask you why you are wearing such  a big, man's jumper.(they know how lonely you are.)

Beanies 
A cute way to finish an outfit. The same outfit can look grungy or chic depending on the beanie.
Can look chavvy. Is great until it flies off of your head along with 15 bobby pins, a clump of hair and your hopes and dreams.

Curly Hair 
Forget the straighteners, for winter is the time of curls.(yay) Curls and waves finish off any autumn/winter look, as they give it texture and shape. Quote Tracey Turnblad 'Hair can't just hang there like a dead thing on your cheeks'.
It can be hard to find a beanie or hat that fits over your hair though (feel my pain). Also, when its windy I have hair attacking my face from every direction, like a cat has just been chucked at my face.



Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is why I love Autumn (most of the time).



Also,because dog's love leaves and that makes me happy.









A HUGE thank-you to my helpers and main inspiration on this post,Xou, Zo and Demosthenous Child Number 3, I love you all xx

Don't forget to share on google+ by click on this little icon at the top of my page or click share with twitter or facebook icon on the right hand column at the top.

Thank-you my squishy's.

winter hats for those of us that dont have hair like legolas

Greetings angel miceys,

Even though we have been having Arctic conditions here in London since late July, I think winter has just started to kick in everywhere else on the planet. So to keep you from losing your head to frostbite, I thought I'd help you choose a few groovy hats.

First for the man-children, a few tips on hat choosing:
(actually there's only one tip on hat choosing)

1) Choose the right shape of hat to suit your face otherwise your head will look like its being eaten by a badger in a jumper.


If you have a long face look for a wide brim hat.
If you have a round or square shape face look for a straight brim hat.
If you have an oval face you can wear any shape hat because congratulations, you got the good genes.

But Nadia, what is a BRIM? I hear you cry.
Well dear Hat-connoisseurs a brim is...

(The little part of the hat that sticks all the way around) 

So, here are my top 3 hats.

Topman
£14
http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?langId=-1&storeId=12555&catalogId=33056&productId=11110322&categoryId=207303&parent_category_rn=233080


 River Island  £8.00
 http://www.riverisland.com/men/accessories/hats/Dark-grey-knit-beanie-hat-264506


Topman £12
http://www.topman.com/en/tmuk/product/shoes-and-accessories-1928527/winter-accessories-2297155/green-and-orange-baroque-knit-beanie-2062457?bi=1&ps=200


Also, click on the link below and donate to Cancer Research to sponsor a friend shaving all of his hair off for charity!  http://myprojects.cancerresearchuk.org/fundraise/fundraising-pages/samsunnerfundraisingpage

Do it for Legolas.
 

East End Thrift Store

Good afternoon my lovelies,

As some of you may know, there is a fabulous event in London for all you thrifties out there, called East End Thrift store and its held in er, the East End.
 https://en-gb.facebook.com/pages/East-End-Thrift-Store/165943483434967

For those of you who don't know, its basically an event that's held in London, where all of the world's vintage jackets,coats,jumpers,jeans,dresses, tops etc are resurrected from beyond the grave,regurgitated from your parents adolescent years, stolen from charity shops* and sold for ONE POUND.
Yep, you heard right, levi's for a POUND.Vintage baseball/football/soccer tops- one POUND. EVERYTHING'S A POUND. ARE YOU HYPERVENTILATING YET COS I AM.

*just kidding.

If you enjoy queueing for hours on a Saturday morning,in a dodgy part of London with fellow fashionista's watching your every move, then you will love this. Despite the queues and judgemental hispters though, it was groovy. We waited for about 2 hours before we decided to leave the queue and go to the one next to us for the East End Thrift Warehouse. ( You pay for a bag, £10 or £20,about the size of a A4 piece of paper, and stuff it full of clothes.) My advice for this one, be an excellent folder, I managed to fit 3 jumpers and a top in my bag, or be really pretty. (The latter won't work,the guy on the till was so angry.)
The one pound store, in my opinion is better if you just want the clothes for the material, or you enjoy walking around in muddy clothes. It was held in a car-park and so after unleashing the first 30 hipsters, clothes were flying everywhere,which was fab as it had rained the day before.


I will show you my purchases when the washing machine has finished washing the dead people smell off of them. (still worth it.)

I know its hard to see, but this was my view for most of the day.The queue went all the way around the block, that's four roads can I add.
(The look the late-comers gave us, as they dragged their feet past us looking for the end of the queue, as they turned another corner. Mwhaha.
It was a mixture of hatred and envy.)





I would recommend to all of you thrifties out there to go to the next event, you can check for updates on their facebook page(the link above) or follow their twitter account https://twitter.com/assemblythrift because there are some really snazzy bargains! And you meet loads of really cool people and can exchange fashion tips (by exchanging fashion tips I mean stare them out till they notice you staring then smile at them, or in my case,dither for 20 minutes on the best way to ask the girl in front where she got her shoes from - topshop btw.)




The only thing that got us through the day were jokes, here are my favs:

My friend David lost his ID, now we call him Dav.
*pause for laughter*

What food is used for hiding horses?
Mascarpone
(get it? MASK- A- PONY)
hashahhhahhahahhhhhhahaha


and my personal favourite, courtesy of my friend Jimmy:

Past,present and future walked into a bar...It was tense.

Bonjour mon petite cyber croissants,

Okay,today I have to rant about something that really gets to me, before I start can I just say I am all for having your own individual style and being free to call it your own style and what not but DON'T CALL YOURSELF FASHIONABLE IF YOU WEAR JORDANS. Please.

THEY ARE POSSIBLY THE FUGLIEST (yes I said fugly) MONSTROSITIES I HAVE EVER WITNESSED IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE 16 YEARS OF EXISTENCE(and I've been to Scotland, there are lots of ugly people there, joking I love you Scotland*)


They look bad enough on boys,but on girls...tres merde.
 I really need to calm down, I'm getting angry thinking about them.



Sorry, what shape is that exactly? It looks like it was made for a frog's foot.




The more pictures I look at the more I want to hurt someone.

I can't
I just can't
even
finish
my sentence.

They make me WANT those ratchet ass spike nails, I spent so long hating, so that I can scratch my eyes out. ( here's the link to the spike nails post http://girlinthecowboyboots.blogspot.co.uk/2013_08_01_archive.html )


I thought I was gonna black out for a few seconds there.
Then I saw these:


Girl in the cowboy boots will stop writing on her blog as she is currently in hospital, recovering from a small internal explosion in the nether regions of her islets of Langerhans. (not going to lie to you, I asked my mum for a funny sounding part of the body she said that, I don't even know where it is.)







*I am only joking,as a Scot,I can say this with pride, not every Scot is ugly.

Hello my little fashionista dumplings (that's you),
How are we all? Staying F A B U LOUS?
Of course we are.


Due to popular demand(one person) I have decided to write today's post on coats* (well that doesn't sound crap) because coats are gr8.

Before I get started can I just say how much I love Superdry's new range as designed by Timothy Everest**.
http://www.superdry.com/mens/jackets/details/38144/town-coat

www.superdry.com/component/virtuemart/details/37069/san-franciscan-jacket

Okay, appraisal for Monsieur Everest over, now to my top 5 coats on the market at the moment. I'm loving big-overcoat-trench coat-tweeds avec plenty of buttons and huge pockets 'and then after the baby's born,they're great for shoplifting melons.'   (If you didn't get that I will cry...it was a Friends quote if you still don't know)


I've made the list of coats I like,and ones you guys will realistically wear.(kmt)
So here they are:

Topman £95 http://www.topman.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?searchTerm=coats&storeId=12555&productId=10809632&urlRequestType=Base&categoryId=&langId=-1&productIdentifier=product&catalogId=33056

H&M £75  http://www.hm.com/gb/product/14831?article=14831-B

River Island £85 http://www.riverisland.com/men/coats--jackets/jackets/Stone-smart-pea-coat-271907

River Island £50

http://www.riverisland.com/men/coats--jackets/jackets/Navy-jersey-and-denim-jacket-270726


River Island £70
http://www.riverisland.com/men/coats--jackets/jackets/Navy-blue-belted-smart-jacket-268120

In fact River Island has loads of really nice ones http://www.riverisland.com/men/coats--jackets
But I would recommend that you actually get the 121 into Enfield and try on the coat rather than buy online, just in case.

Hope this has helped,if you're still in doubt about which coat/jacket to buy, go for tweed. TWEED IS A WAY OF LIFE.

Stay fashionable xo

Tweet me: https://twitter.com/nadiadems



*okay so some of them are jackets, so sue me. (please don't)
**cheeky little link here http://www.superdry.com/search/timothy-everest?OVMTC=Exact&site=&creative=33656435150&OVKEY=timothy%20everest%20superdry&url_id=25910009&adpos=1t1&device=c&gclid=CP7TjMLR3LkCFWfMtAod72MA_w

Here's a phrase I never thought I'd say about fashion: Bring back the 90's.
Like many of you creeps(joking I love you creeps),I was at home a lot during the summer holidays,(due to lack of friends) watching the whole of Friends series one on DVD,(courtesy of le charity shop locale.)and I have realised how groovy fashion of the 90's was. Minus les nipples visible of course. (Don't judge me, I know there were some pretty disgraceful trends but trust me, OK?)

This is my little ode to the 90's.

Without further a do I present to you my top 3 trends of the 90's that should be resurrected(in tv show form ofc) :

3)Friends
  
Think denim,mini skirts,over sized shirts and groovy colours.Could the fashion BE any more snazzy? (If you didn't read that in a Chandler voice I am judging you.)
Slightly more conservative than the next trend,but still just as 90's.




2) The Fresh Prince of Bel Air...
Catchy song,with that one line that nobody remembers(but pretend they do),eye wateringly bright jackets,that no-one but Will Smith can pull off, WHAT'S NOT TO LOVE?!
When attempting this look think BRIGHT,BOLD and BRIGHT, if you're gonna do it,you have to go all out honey. Neons,patterns and layering colours is a great place to start,it's all about standing out.


And the Carlton dance. *








1) Lizzie McGuire (Ok so the first series of this was in 2001,but ITS LIZZIE McGUIRE COME ON)
The Lizzie trend is more about experimenting with your accessories and that's what made it so 90s chic!
Anything crimped,bunched,braided or beaded is perf.
Bandanna's,hats,prints,tie-dye,mesh...(the whole time I'm writing this I'm just like My mind is telling me no but my body my body's telling me yes )

Other ratchet stuff to come out of the 90's:
-converse's
-chokers (love love love love love)
-Oasis,blur,N'sync, destiny's child the list is endless............
-scrunchies(80's and 90's)
-jellies
-lipsmackers
-mood rings
-Sabrina the teenage witch
-The powerpuff girls
-Pokemon
-The macarena
And of course the QUEEN of rachet MISS BRITNEY SPEARS


And that dear children,is why the 90's rocked.





*If the video doesn't work don't cry,this is the first time I've done this,IM TRYING OKAY?!